angus1949

angus1949 - Ed

Published on December 14, 2009 By DPCloud In Community

One of my favorite people will be going in for cataract surgery next week and I thought it would be nice to start a thread to wish him well or at least leave him in stitches.

Ed I hope all goes well and here are the;

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery

1 Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

3 Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!

4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!

5 Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

6 Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

7 "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

8 Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

9 "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, he's got two of 'em

10 What do you mean "You want a divorce?"

Comments (Page 3)

DrJBHL

on Dec 15, 2009

Fuzzy Logic

reply 27

21. Don't worry, we've done this op 54 times already... simulated...

Good luck with the op Ed. I know it will go ok, my dad had this op twice (he had two eyes ) and was ok each time. Unfortunately he still couldn't see where his wallet was...

That's because the surgeon also did the famous "wallet biopsy", Fuzzy.

starkers

on Dec 15, 2009

31: While I have him on the table, his wife wants me to tweak his implant.

32: Ooooops! Never mind, I have a plastic surgeon colleague who could use the business.

33: Nurse! Just because the covering sheet is rising down there, it doesn't mean you need to take a peek under it.

34: Oh darn! It's just like whenever I need to take the lawn mower apart, I've got left over parts.

35: Just think, after the op it'll be worth renewing your subscription to Playboy.

As for #33, a theatre nurse once told me that often happens... male patients getting aroused while under anaesthetic, that is.

mrs_starkers

on Dec 16, 2009

All the best Ed, I have had that done nothing to it , you will be fine

angus1949

on Dec 16, 2009

As for #33, a theatre nurse once told me that often happens... male patients getting aroused while under anaesthetic, that is.

That's magic even Randy can't "POOF" to make happen.

messiah1

on Dec 16, 2009

36. "Wasn't there 3 sponges, when we started?!"

Good luck Ed.

Wizard1956

on Dec 16, 2009

That's magic even Randy can't "POOF" to make happen

Viagra prior to surgery is standard procedure nowadays,Ed. It keeps you from rolling out of bed.

37. "Nurse,make sure my lawyer is on speed dial this time"

angus1949

on Dec 16, 2009

Viagra prior to surgery is standard procedure nowadays,Ed. It keeps you from rolling out of bed.

They lied to me then. They rolled me over and put a kick stand in the other side.

starkers

on Dec 17, 2009

38: I hope your eyesight hasn't improved that much that you notice I added a couple of extra zeros to my original bill.

As for #33, a theatre nurse once told me that often happens... male patients getting aroused while under anaesthetic, that is.

That's magic even Randy can't "POOF" to make happen.

That's because he's using the wrong incantation! "ED-ED-ED... rise-Sir ED-ED-ED-ED... rise Sir ED...ED-ED-ED-ED" simply sends the wrong message.

Viagra prior to surgery is standard procedure nowadays,Ed. It keeps you from rolling out of bed

They gave some Viagra to Ed, but Wiz, your incantation counter-acted it and the nurse had to resort to other measures.

They lied to me then. They rolled me over and put a kick stand in the other side

You were lucky that they did that much... they put me in traction to stop me rolling out of bed.

Trouble was, that was only on one leg, which meant sometimes I was left hanging upside down.

angus1949

on Dec 29, 2009

Surgeries are over. I had the right eye done on the 21st and all went without a problem. Seeing 20/20 now..........WOW. Unfortunately the left eye I had done on the 28th has not faired as well. I have a follow-up on the 31st to see what can be corrected. Damned my luck. The Cap'n may have to send me his patch. Thanks to all of you who pulled for me, your support is always so welcome and needed in stressful times.

Philly0381

on Dec 29, 2009

Hope they are able to make whatever corrections they need to the left eye, don't want you walking around in circles. Oh my.

DPCloud

on Dec 29, 2009

Thanks to all of you who pulled for me, your support is always so welcome and needed in stressful times.

Just so ya know, we're still pulling for ya! Hang in there Ed.

superman

on Dec 29, 2009

Good luck

DrJBHL

on Dec 29, 2009

I had the right eye done on the 21st and all went without a problem. Seeing 20/20 now..........WOW.

With your luck the Nurse in recovery looked like this (I'd sue!):

angus1949

on Dec 29, 2009

That was my nu;rse! OMG. I wondered about the rolling over problem and asked why an eye doc needed to do a DRE. At least my hind site will be 20/20.

PoSmedley

on Dec 29, 2009

Thanks to all of you who pulled for me, your support is always so welcome and needed in stressful times.

Glad all went well, Ed.

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